Puppies...

  I apologize greatly for my lack of posting. You see, there is an excuse...

Remember that puppy I mentioned a few days ago? Maggie? Well she's proofed quite naughty... let's make a list- aren't lists fun? I sure think so...

• Maggie likes to eat pumpkins. She chewed her initials into a pumpkin that was supposed to be carved for halloween, but not suitable for that anymore... It is possible she only wanted to carve it herself.....
•  Maggie often tires of her dog bed and decides that the couch is much more comfortable. In simpler words, she sleeps on the couch... princess...
• For some reason, Maggie fancies in eating my feces. Yes, from my litter box. Maybe she mistook my feces for something else. I don't know- what I do know is it is highly improper and very disgusting to feast on another's feces.
• Maggie, for reasons unknown, likes to chew on Sid's face. Really, I think she might be trying to groom him or something, but it highly unsightly.
• Maggie thinks it necessary to bring everybody's dirty and clean clothes to them. My mother had her pajama bottoms and underwear dropped in the hallway. Maybe she thinks she's being helpful.....
• She also thinks it an act of kindness to carry around my Uncle's teddy bear, and my Aunt's stuffed elephant toy. Why? I'll never know.

Are you ready for the grand finale? The worst and most naughty of them all? The mother of all faults? Today it happened... here it is:

• Maggie, this morning, decided to chase me... Well, she rounded a corner to closely and hit the corner of the wall, accidentally tearing off the trim and mildly injuring her right, front leg. Puppies.

My mother has yet to feed me breakfast, so I must leave with the excuse that I'm starving and I must beg for food. As always, I will say to you,

Tootaloo!

~Jasper

Yes. Another one.

  I've gotten over my fear of random animals living in my house. Why? Because in the past two years, a 70 pound dog (Bertha), a little black kitten (Solo) and as of a few days ago, a 30 pound puppy about 5 months old (Magnolia) have made their way into our home. Bertha and Solo found new homes but Magnolia is staying here. Permanently. I've forced myself not to be afraid of this:

Photo Credit: GypsyForest (My grandmother)

  Sure, she's cute... but It chased me down the hall! It was scary!!! I mean she is 230.769231% bigger than me!
Yes, I calculated it t the exact percentage.
  Anyway, as I was saying, I forced myself to not be afraid of Magnolia (Maggie, as everyone calls her). How do I do this? Well, whenever she sniffs me I hit her nose. We don't want her sniffing me do we? Us cats are more proper and we mind our manners- unlike those rowdy dogs that go sniffing each others behinds whenever they feel like it.
  Yesterday, when she tried to follow me down the hall, I showed her who was boss by chasing her the other way. I know it's a bit harsh... but I had to do it! I need to make it clear to her that I am the boss of this house and she shouldn't go chasing me, pouncing on me or sniffing my rear end. Go see Sid if you want to sniff someone's behind (Sid is my canine companion)! Don't expect me to like it or even tolerate it if you sniff my rear! Dogs confuse me. Here I'll tell you what confuses me.

1. Why do they sniff each others rear ends?
2. Why do they dislike it when the family leaves? Don't they like a little solitude?
3. Why do they insist upon their human companions throwing that rubber ball so they can chase after it and then bring it back to them. How do they find entertainment in that?
4. Why can't Puppies sit still? Can't they just stop moving for five minutes? Four minutes? Even two would be nice!!
5. When a human brings them a treat, why do they do all the tricks they know in a span of five seconds? Do you think being a freak will make them give you the treat? When they tell you to sit do you think that if you sit, lay down and roll over they'll give you extra treats for some reason??
6. Why do dogs bathe in public? Be polite and go in the other room for heavens sake!! Not in the middle of a conversation with guests! I mean really!?!?

Well, I've nothing more to say, and I need to chase that puppy one more time so.....

Tootaloo!!

~Jasper

Friday Photos... on Tuesday.

For some reason the blog post didn't post on friday. What's the point of a blog post if it doesn't post?? That's right! There isn't! So here is a very belated Friday Photos for you!

Friday Photos::

Me On The Bed (Photo Taken By Mother)

Me exploring the screened-in patio (Photo taken by Mother)

Look! It's my bow tie!! Isn't it lovely? Class? Perfect? Yes, I know it's amazing.
(Photo taken by mother)

Me eyeing something most dashingly (Photo taken by Mother)

Me in my bow tie *Again* (Photo taken by Mother)

Add caption

 

People can be so speciest.

Hello friends...
I was browsing the web when I found this:

Can you believe it? This is so speciest! This is not okay! This picture is insinuating that cats have no emotions, yet dogs do! That is quite rude. Whoever drew this picture obviously had not ever met a cat before. Only those hyperactive dogs. It's quite sad really, I mean could you even imagine what life would be like without a cat in your house? Could you? It would be terrible! Think of how much you benefit from having a cat! let's make a list.

1. No one would catch the bugs that come in your house... if you had no cat.
2. You couldn't be cheered up by rubbing your face in a cat's belly when your sad- if you had no cat.
3. Who would attack your feet when you walked to the bathroom at 12:00 AM? if you had no cat...
4. Who would you play with? if you had no cat...

See? Humans. Need. cats. It's simply a necessity for them to have a cat living in their house. Trust me. Humans can't live without us. We are vital to their health- because we are just so fluffy... humans need fluffy things.

Well, I have to go so...

Tootalloo!!

~Jasper

Friday Photos::

Well, It's friday- and you know what that means.... well I hope so anyway- Friday Photos!!!
My mother let me out on the screened-in patio for a little bit so she could take some pictures, it wasn't to bad... in fact, I could even say that I enjoyed it quite much.
Well here they are! I hope you like them!!

Me in the mirror

Me observing my surroundings..

Me lounging for a moment

And... Me exploring a bit.

Have a good weekend!

Tootalloo!

~Jasper

Connoisseurs Of Comfort

"Cats are connoisseurs of comfort."~ James Harriot

  Now are we? Is he saying that we never feel discomfort? If he is, he is very wrong. In a house with two uncles, an aunt, my mother, and my grandparents, I should know what discomfort is. My uncle, who is only six years of age, thinks it's fun to carry me around and throw me across his shoulder to haul me wherever he chooses- is this comfort? I should think not!

My Aunt has decided that it's hilarious to put me in a dress! Is that comfortable?? No!!! I have felt comfort before, I'm not saying I haven't....

like that time my mother gave me a little bowl full of milk... another she brushed my hair until it was silky smooth... last christmas I got treats in my stocking from santa of course.

  Why would someone think that we only feel comfort? That is so strange. I should start accusing humans as being lazy-butts. Because its me who catches all the bugs that stroll into our house. It's me that entertains the children unwillingly. What do they do? They sit on their lazy butts and they use those stupid contraptions they call computers. I would never be so entertained by a screen that sits on my lap- of course... there is that little mouse on the screen- but still! I refuse to be hypnotized by the computers hypnotizing rays. I refuse.

I apologize for the shortness of this post, but I really have to bid you farewell. So....

Tootaloo!

~Jasper

A very short post...

Hello readers,

  It's raining buckets outside.... it's terrifying.... for me anyway.
I've been oddly energetic this morning- for example, my Mother and my Aunt were busy and forgot to feed me breakfast, sooo... I tackled their feet until they gave me breakfast... then I tackled their calves.
  I was EXTREMELY bored, so I took to running down the whole hallway doing a doughnut and running down the hallway again, and again... and again. It's quite fun, really you should try it sometime!
  My Aunt was telling my Uncle about how "Ants can survive underwater for twenty four hours"- well, I'll have to test that theory on my aunt.
Well, I've nothing more to say and I swear the hallway is screaming my name "Jasper! Jasper!" so I must go run up and down it.... I guess this is good-bye for the today- or as I would say:

Tootalloo!
~Jasper

Friday Photos!

Here are some photos!

This is me (Taken by my mother)

Me being DONE with pictures taken of myself (Taken by mother)

Me, of course, posing for the picture (Taken by mother)

My perfect nose and perfect whiskers (Taken by mother

Me sleeping (By Mother)

I hope you've enjoyed the photos!!

I hope you have a GREAT weeend!

Tootaloo!

~Jasper

Gift For My Mother

Wow. I tried to write a post yesterday... but there was too much Madonna, Beyonce, Starship and Europe playing on the stereo to even hear myself think much less write.

  Today, I am wondering what to give my mother for her birthday, which is at the end of this month. Here is what I've come up with:

1. A ball of yarn
2. A cockroach I found outside on the patio
3. That fly that annoyed me this morning by buzzing around my head

Of  course, all of these things are lovely ideas... I want to get her something that she uses everyday, that every time she uses it (which would be a lot) she would think of me... So here are some more ideas:

     4. Her favorite pair of earrings
     5. The pair of purple Converse that she wears ALL the time
     6. Her wallet

Hmmm.... I've got an idea! Everyone who reads this blog post, comment below on which gift you think is the best for my mother's birthday! Here are your choices:

1. A ball of yarn
2. A cockroach I found outside on the patio
3. That fly that annoyed me this morning by buzzing around my head
4. Her favorite pair of earrings
5. The pair of purple Converse she wears ALL the time
6. Her wallet

Thank you to anyone who gives me their vote on what to give my mother for her birthday!

Tootaloo!

~Jasper

The Story Of My Life

Today, nothing exciting has happened... just a Day In The Life Of Jasper.

So... instead of recounting the present... I'll tell you of my past!

  Well, I was brought home by my grandmother and great-grandmother (without warning my grandfather). They brought me home as a present for my mother- nine at the time- and It was love at first sight.

"Love at first sight."

  My grandfather sighed, and said 'fine... we can keep him..'and grandmother insisted he give me to mother. So... He stuffed me in his shirt and brought me inside. My mother had to force a smile at first- because all she saw was my back leg hanging out of her fathers shirt, and thought I was a rabbit. She doesn't exactly like rabbits...

  Of course, when grandfather pulled me out and handed me to her, her eyes shined and that was love at first sight. She pondered the whole day what to name me... Wilbur.. Gus... Jasper....

Being a nine-year-old, she thought it was genius to name me all of them. So there you have it. That is my first name: Jasper and my two middle names are Wilbur and Gus.

  Remember me mentioning Love at first sight? well it happened several times that day. With my three new aunt and uncles, my grandmother and great-grandmother- along with their dog. Sid. I loved him the second we met. And I still do. He's my best friend in the whole world

"He's my best friend in the whole world!"

  I didn't take much time to adjust in my new home. I made myself comfortable. I was the missing puzzle piece to this family.

"I made myself comfortable."

  My mother took me everywhere she went (in the house) and I happily went with her. My Aunt did the same thing- and she still does.

"She took me everywhere she went and I happily went with her."

I, being the cat in this big family, was always doing something- always in the middle of something. Wether it was being put in a dress, sitting on the keyboard while Mother and Grandfather played their instruments together, or having a tea party- which wasn't a rare occasion.

"Sitting on the keyboard while mother and grandfather played their instruments"

  I hope all you cats and dogs out there have as good a family as I do! I want to thank my grandmother and great-grandmother for bringing me to their home, grandfather for letting it slide, and my dear mother who was so very sweet to me- even if she did put me in a dress a few times. I will always love my crazy family no matter what. 

Thank you for adopting me Mother!!

And until later,

Tootaloo!

~Jasper

Friday Photos::

Hello everybody, I'm having a great day! I hope you are too!

  Anyway, here some pictures for Friday Photos!

This picture, is my paw (obviously) Taken by my mother this morning.

This picture... is me sleeping. Taken by my mother this morning.

This picture is from a few weeks ago, it turned out a little blurry...

So, we photoshopped it a bit. Think it looks OK?

I hope you've enjoyed the photos!

And, have a nice weekend!

~Jasper

P.S. Every friday, on my blog, from now on will be Friday Photos! I'll post pictures of me every friday!

A day in the life of Jasper

Hello, my dear readers...
  I've had a very uneventful day... I have nothing else to say, so let me recount it to you:
Woke up from my little nap at 5:00 AM, bugged my grandfather who was getting ready for work. Bugged grandfather until he was out the door, then darted down the hallway to sleep with my aunt Sophie (yes, I do forgive her for that thing she did).
  After aunt Sophie woke up, I followed her around and meowed occasionally, hoping to get the message across that I WANTED MY BREAKFAST RIGHT THEN AND THERE. As every morning goes, she didn't understand. She simply plopped her bottom on the couch, then plopped the computer on her lap, and played games on the computer for exactly 30 minutes. At around 8:00 (AM) my mother wakes up and sits at the table to have a cup of coffee. I stand on my hind legs and kneed at her thighs until she sighs and says "Fine... I'll get you some breakfast right now." Then, the gives me food. She brings me to my bowl and I sit and stare at her while she says "Eat it, come on, don't you want it?" I continue to stare at her until she sighs and walks away, "I don't know what you want!" she says behind her back. Solitude, mother, I want solitude while I eat my breakfast. I dig in.
  After eating, I sleep some more, only to be awaken by my aunt to be in a pretend commercial for lipstick, a few hours later. I am then put back in my place, which isn't so toasty warm from my body heat anymore. I scowl at my aunt, and leave the room. Then, I go to sleep next to my mother who is doing her math for the day.
  Now it is lunch, and people are making food. So what do I do? I go into the kitchen and beg for the food they are eating. I stand on my back legs and kneed their thighs- of course, this begging thing doesn't work. They all say "Go eat your food Jasper, I know Jade fed you today." (Jade is my mother). I go back to my room and sulk while I nap.
  Now it is 1:52 (PM). I am telling you about the boringness of my day. I know what your thinking, booo-ring!

Well, at leas you know what 'a day in the life of Jasper' is like.

~Jasper

Triple Sleepover...

tri.ple |ˈtripəl| sleep.o.ver |ˈslēpˌōvər|
noun
1. an occasion of spending the night away from home, or of having a guest or guests spend the night in one's home, esp. as a party for children.
2. a terrible occurrence for a very poor, unsuspecting, kind, house cat.
3. an occasion of which one's aunt invites a friend over for three nights. At this occasion, one's aunt's friend holds the poor, too-kind-of-a-house-cat much too often.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I should have bit her. That's what I'm thinking now. I should have bit that friend of Aunt Sophie's that stayed at our house for three nights.

All you cats out there, do you not despise sleepovers! This was a TRIPLE sleepover. Much worse than the simple 'sleepover'. I was carried around and dropped on countless occasions, I was constantly held and petted and brushed (which wasn't too bad...).
 This of course, was nothing though. Aunt Sophie and her friend Olive, decided to put me in a doll's dress. They succeeded. Then my mother took a picture. How rude of her. 

Can you believe this? I sure did... I mean, I was the one in the dress...

My dear readers, I hope you are satisfied with this post. It was quite embarrassing to put on the internet, but I did it.

 I hope you never have to suffer the terrible TRIPLE SLEEPOVER... nobody should have too.

Good day!

~Jasper

a few entries in jasper's journal...

Dear Journal,

Help us! We're going down! Hurricane Issac is here! Water is coming from the sky! Branches the size of elephants are falling all over the place! The wind is so strong that cars are blowing away in the wind! Thunder so loud that our ears are ringing! Aaaaaaaaa we're gonna diiieee...... it was nice knowing you.... *snob snurp... gurgle*...

I can't believe that life could be so cruel to me.....

~Jasper

Date: August, 29, 2012

Time: 3:46 PM

----------------------------------------------------------------

Hello... I am Jasper's (very patient) mother.

I am here to warn you that My son, Jasper, is absolutely exaggerating. Being a cat, he has a terrible fear of rain, so a light mist would set him off on a spiel about 'how life could be so cruel to him'. The branches that have fallen are no bigger than him, and the wind is going 75 miles per hour but that is certainly not enough to lift a car up off the ground and into the sky- more like a bunch of loose branches on the oak trees in our yard. The thunder... is not very loud at all, and, it only started today (August 30). I myself did not hear a single crack of thunder yesterday. We are not going to die. 

~Jasper's (ever so patient) mother.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Journal, 

Well... I feel ridiculous. I didn't die. I panicked like a kitten... A very fearful kitten. At the time... I felt as if I was going to die, and I was very afraid... but, I guess I was a little off. My mother told me everything was going to be fine, and... I guess she was alright.

~(A very abashed) Jasper

Date: August, 30, 2012

Time: 1:41 PM

Writers' Block Or Laziness?

Dearest readers,
I have been lazy and I apologize for it. I would call it 'writers block' rather than laziness... but it truly is laziness. Anyway... I have been watching the rain lately. It has been raining every day now. It frightens me that such a thing as water can fall from the sky!!!! Oh, it sends shivers down my spine- being a cat, you must already know that I hate water. Unless I am drinking it...

  So, I've been listening to an array of different music lately... A few of the songs are:

Home- Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros 

Sort Of- Ingrid Michaelson

Oh! Darling- The Beatles, covered by Sara Bareilles

I hope you like them too! Mostly, the reason that I've been listening to Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson (The two last ones) Is because my mother has learned them on the piano. 

I have nothing more to say, so for now, 

Tootaloo!!

~Jasper

My Knightly Knightlyness

Good day to you!

Today, I am a valiant knight. I have saved my family from Lovebugs! They are all over the windows today! Why the windows? Anyway, I should  earn a badge... or a medal... stating;

JASPER MINER! THE VALIANT KNIGHT OF THE FAMILY TABLE!!!

KILLED SEVERAL LOVEBUGS TO SAVE HIS BELOVED FAMILY!

Don't you think it'd be nice? To have a medal for everything you did? That would be simply magnificent! I would have loads of medals! Piled up in boxes and crates, and truck-beds! I would be famous for how many medals I owned! Gadzooks... thats quite a thought. 

  But I really did save the family from Lovebugs! They were outside the window, teeth gleaming, frothing for blood- not kidding! They were roaring about and rearing back their heads! Quite a sight, really somebody should have caught a picture... But noooo! Everybody was too busy eating breakfast to snap a picture of the amazing battle I, the valiant... courageous... brave... knight of the family table.

  Humans... I swear..

  Well, I've other things to talk about... beside my wonderful knightly-ness. I know I mentioned in one of my previous posts that I mentioned a Maid.... well, I forgot to mention in That Post, that she was not a maid, but my lovely maiden.. I rested my head on her pillow many a night, and every time she woke, I stared into her maiden eyes... It is too bad that she left as soon as the family returned... I don't know why. It was quite sad really....

Well, that just about wraps it up for the day...with my maiden.. and my knightly-ness... yep. Thats about it. 

Until next time,

I bid you adieu 

how is french so fancy? I don't know.. it just is... I should learn to speak french.. anyway

Adieu 

~Jasper

Hello

Wow, I have been very busy lately.... my mother has been coughing and sneezing. She says she's sick. She also says she has headaches- I bet she's faking it.

  Today, it is very rainy. Very boring. We already had a dance party by 1:30 PM. I am so incredibly bored that I took to sitting in my cage and listening, to how many times my six-year-old-uncle and nine-year-old-aunt, ask if they can watch a movie... I mean... it is raining.

  Well, I also have been looking at videos from Simon's Cat (a youtube channel). My favorite one is 'Double Trouble' because, that is just about how I felt when that kitten, Solo stayed at our house for a while.

Thats about it for the day, I'm tired.. so I'm going to go take nap 

Yaaaaaaawn

Have a nice day!

~Jasper

I apologize greatly for my absence...

Dearest Readers,

  I am very sorry for my laziness in the past.. what... seven weeks? I really truly am sorry. Well, I shan't call it laziness... because the maid that my family hired for me, didn't let me use the computer! How unfair is that?? Hmph.
  I will get you caught up on what I've been doing for the past... seven weeks.

1. In that time I have killed one cockroach, two moths, a lizard, and four other random bugs.

2. I have eaten not a single bug in seven weeks.

3. My family left seven weeks ago and came back yesterday night, and--it is probably just a strange
human custom or a way of saying "Please forgive us for leaving you so long" but they got me a
maid! She gives me food, she pets me, she lets me sleep on her pillow, and she even cleans my
litter box! How nice is that?! not to say that my mother doesn't do any of that. But who would do it
When she is gone?

4. Sorry to say that in that whopping seven weeks, we had not a single dance party. The maid would
not allow it. So, we just sat around all day and were a normal cat and dog. It was boring.

5. I counted the cars that went by each day and added them all up. So.. in seven weeks.. a total of
four cars passed by. My mother told me today that she thought the number was a little off.
Mothers...


  There, that just about sums up the summers' events. Oh, and the best part was yesterday. Everyone
gave me and Sid a treat. All six of my family gave me one! That adds up to.... three treats!
Mother tells me that I need to work on my math skills...  Mothers...




I will post MUCH more often now!

~Jasper

Party!!

Oh my goodness. The clan is leaving. I will be bored all day long.
The clan (my family) is going on a seven week trip to alaska. seven weeks!!
I can't believe they have the heart to leave me... so long.
[that was just an impression of what THEY think of me right now!!!]
[here is how I really feel about all this!!]

My goodness gracious! I can't wait until they're gone! I can have parties, and all that stuff! Woohoo!!!!!
I'll invite the neighbors, and all the neighborhood cats and dogs, and maybe I'll even get the president to come! This'll be awesome! I'll be listening to this song while I prepare for my party::

Don't you love it?

Well, I've got to go... So,

tootaloo!!

~Jasper

Writers Block

I'm sorry to say, I've had writers block for the last week or two. I really do apologize for the absence of my posts. Well, since I'm done with writers block, lets get started... lets see....

  I have heard (not eavesdropped) about a big trip to Alaska, that I am not included in. They are inviting the 'house sitter' over tonight for dinner to go over some stuff.
I am a whopping FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLD!!! I don't need a babysitter!!! I'm a full grown cat! Well, let's hope that the 'house sitter' term is very literal. Maybe she'll just sit the house- not me and Sid. And if she's house sitting... well, I think she'd need a ladder.. our roof is fairly tall, and would definitely need something to climb up to get there.
 IF we supply her with a ladder, she'd never have to come inside! She would just have to sit on the roof! But... that isn't what my family had in mind. They definitely meant 'house sitting' as in 'animal sitting too'.

 I guess I'll have to lock her out! Yes! I'll just switch the deadbolt!  I'll do it! I'll practice today! Man! I'm smart!!

-----five minutes later-----

That was the dumbest idea ever. Ever.  I forgot I didn't have opposable thumbs. Then, I thought I could jump from the couch and hit the latch, but I just slammed into it like an idiot. How did I forget I didn't have opposable thumbs? I.. don't know. *sigh*

-----ten minutes later-----

I've got it! I'm not a failure! I've got another idea:

What if... never mind. That would be ridiculous.

~Jasper

It has left!!

It has left! Not, 'it is here' or 'it is leaving' but IT HAS LEFT. Very official this time. It is gone....
Solo has a home with a family an hour and a half away. He was kinda fun.. but he's gone now. He's history. *sigh*

 Anyway... I've nothing more to say beside that.....

What A Relief

The kitten is leaving. The furry little fuzzball of (nonexistent at this point) fleas. Yes, Solo has found a nice home with a lovely family. You'd think I'd say something snobby like 'What A Relief!' or 'Finally! That thing is leaving!'- but this time, I'm polite. I am truthful. I like that little fuzzball of (nonexistent) fleas, he's a pretty cool kid. This morning, I had a great time playing with him. I'll miss the little rascal.
And that is where the mushiness ends!


 On the other hand (paw), I'll have all the kitty attention again! That may mean more torture.. but more attention is worth it! The little mongrel has been soaking up the attention with his baby charm- you know, everybody likes babies.. they're "irresistible".
I swear, it's like two people trying to upload their one-hundred-fifty pictures on flickr at the same time and one is sucking up the bandwidth! No, it's not that bad... but I'm still  little happy that he has found a home elsewhere, I know this will sound bratty, but I like being in a one-cat-one-dog-six-people household.


[notice I did not say two-cat-one-dog-six-people household]


 I'm so happy that the kitten is leaving, and it will be once again a one-cat-one-dog- (well, you get it....) household, that I shall compose a poem about it!

I am a single cat.
Like a single child.
My family consists of mostly children, 
Which not at all are mild. 


I live in a house on a street,
Most likely, just like you. 
All of the people who come to the door,
I very politely, greet.


I am a single cat.
Much like a single child.
My family is large with many kids,
Non of which are mild. 


My rules vary depending,
On my mood at the second,
But today, my new rule, is 
Out with the kitten! 
(I'll give it some time to pack and leave)


I am a single cat,
In a single house,
With a single family,
(Luckily) with not a single mouse.


I'd like to say right now,
That Solo has to leave,
I'm also going to say,
He is my pet peeve.


I will post again in a day or two!
I hope you enjoyed this post!

~Jasper

And the truth is revealed...

The truth is revealed. I am a dog. No, not really, that isn't the truth that is about to be revealed, it is this:
The black mongrel (temporarily called Solo, instead of 'kitten') is... cute.
Even if he thinks the dog is his mother, and he tried to nurse off of him without success.
There, I said it... and it's true... I played with him today. I even gave him a scratchy-cat-tongue-lick right on the top of his head, randomly.

Photo credit Gypsy Forest

See? How can he not be cute?

I think I went too far with that last comment... but anyway, hopefully, we have found him a home. They say we can't keep the kitten because him and I will start peeing to mark our territory- who thought up that stupid idea? The last time I heard two cats peeing in any other place but their own litter box (which is absolutely horrifying) is when they got kicked out of it by the other cat! And clearly, Solo- or I- would never do such a thing. And anyway, about the peeing to mark territory thing.. we wouldn't have to mark our territory in the first place because it is all, obviously, mine. 

  I think it is terrible, the things that humans assume about cats. I mean, a guy walked in the door, and said, 'even the cat's greeting me!' and he laughed. Do people assume that cats aren't polite? Oh, and they say, 'oh he's probably nice because he isn't too smart!' but you know what? If I hissed at the kids, or anyone who tortured me in their casual way, or bit them, I would get in huge trouble and sent to my room, while the kids would pretend to cry! Such lies are absolutely ridiculous. I do not hiss, scratch (intentionally), or bite because I will be punished. And I'm too nice. 

Well that just about wraps it up for the day! 

~Jasper

Oh. My. Gosh.

My grandmother brought home a thing.
It is black. It is barely over one pound. It is fuzzy. And worst of all, it has brought an army of fleas. Luckily, Sid (the dog) and I are on flea medicine so we won't be infested as he is. And he purrs oh my goodness he does, he purrs and purrs and purrs all day long! When he's eating, pooping, playing, being pet, groomed- but he stopped for one moment when he was being bathed. And it isn't the fact that he is purring! It is the fact that his purr is bigger than him!!!!!
 I swear it is like darth vader, and.. and his fleas are like his army of clones!!!!!! They're coming for us!!!

 I'm done being dramatic now. That was yesterday... but today, I've decided that he is pretty... interesting. I've been watching him like a hawk, I even played with him. He doesn't smell as putrid as he did yesterday.. He was absolutely filthy! My mother wiped him down with a white rag, and his filthiness turned it gray. Goodness. At this moment, I am sleeping with him. Well, not with him.. I am a few inches away.... he isn't as vicious as I thought he was.

Photo credit Gypsy Forest

Photo credit Gypsy Forest

Photo credit Gypsy Forest

Those three lovely pictures were taken by my grandmother, or as known on the web: Gypsy Forest.

I hope you enjoyed todays post!

~Jasper

The Wizard Of Oz

Hello, how do you do? I am doing well. Yesterday was crazy absolutely crazy!!! My mom left the house at 7:45 (AM) to get to the auditorium for 'The Wizard Of Oz' production, then she did a rehearsal, and two plays for the schools, then my grandmother picked her up at 2:00 (PM) and then, dropped her back off at 5:45 (PM) for the 6:30 show. Some of our dear friends came from Lafayette, to watch the show, they all loved it! I was very upset that I wasn't invited! Though, I've got the whole movie memorized see?
"Somewhere over the rainbow

Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I??

I would love it if you could actually hear me sing it, but I'm afraid I don't know how to work a camera.

The weekend has just flown by for me, how about you? Has yours flown by? 

Well, I'm sorry for the shortness of this post :P 

Too-ta-loo for now!

~ Jasper

*sigh*...I despise ferrets....

Hello.
I've had an eventful few days. First, my Uncle Sam returned from his school, and stuff, but what I really wanted to tell you was my terrifying experience with vermin!!!!!

So, this is what happened, My uncle's friend came over last night and brought this hideous creature that everyone loved. They said it was kind of like a cat- I was extremely offended by that! They called it a ferret, they said they wanted one- then... they discussed what my most likely reaction to that would be.... Then, they did the most unforgivable thing to me. They brought me to the ferret!!! I couldn't believe what was happening! Everyone knew I wasn't going to hurt it, so they held me, and let the ferret sniff me and climb on me! It would take three years of bathing to get that smell off of me, I swear. I'd hate to smell it with the stink gland. Anyway...

So what did I do when it sniffed me? Well I hissed at it! duh! Then my mother rescued me, she dramatically swiped me off of my feet and laid me safely in her room, gave me a treat and told me everything was fine, and that a "13-pound-cat, like me, doesn't need to be afraid of a not-even-1-pound, two-month-old, ferret." She kissed me and left.
Have you ever been traumatized by a ferret? If so, I feel your pain. My uncle laughed when I was afraid of it, but I swear!! It had teeth!!! (sharp ones!!)
Of course, this wasn't the only situation that I was terribly afraid of something much smaller than me... I was once afraid of a miniature dachshund, and a pug, and- well.. a lot of bigger things too, including the vacuum and the broom.

 Have you ever been so scared in your life? If so, please comment below and share your experience!

See you later!

~Jasper

Hello, its me again..

So this saturday, my mom, uncle, aunt and grandparents were all in Lafayette to go to a music festival. They stayed the night at a friends house there.
And boy did we party! Sid and I had the craziest party of all time, including sleeping on the couch and sneaking outside and inviting a lot of friends!!
Actually, we did not party. The most exiting thing that happened was that on sunday morning, the dog ate my food. Stupid-head. I love him though! But anyway, because he ate my food in the morning, and my family didn't come home until around 4:00, I wasn't fed until 4:15!!!!! I was starving by then! Grrrrr....

Let us change the subject to a happier matter. My best friend is, after a lot of persuading, becoming a model like me! Only famous to the family... and some friends... but it is still a cool occupation.
He recently had a photoshoot it is unofficially untitled. Here is a picture that I thought was quite dashing:

Isn't it just grand!?!?

Well I've not much to say today, so I'll have to leave this blogpost as a small one. 

It is time for my departure, so, tootaloo!

~ Jasper 

New Stuff!

If you haven't noticed, I've changed my blog header. Do you like it? Dislike it? I wasn't sure if I liked that or the old blog banner, it had a picture of me.. Oh! here it is!:

Do you like this better than the current Banner/Header?

Well just leave an answer in comment! (if you don't mind) 

Today I've had a swell day, not chinese torture yet- you know what I mean. I was fed on time and I bit the dog- He should really take a bath more often. He returned the gesture with an unnecessarily slobbery kiss right on my ear!!!! EEEWW!!! I wish I had opposable thumb. If I did, Maybe I'd tie him to his bed. Make him stay there for ever!!1 Muahahaha- no, I'd most likely just throw the dog toy for him. I love that doggy :)

 My favorite song this week is called "I got a gal in Kalamazoo- Glenn Miller"

                                   

I love it!! My mother has it on Vinyl, Mmmm I think its the best record she has- she likes them all- but I like this one best... All of the tuxedos! I would love to go back to that time, I would be so fashionable then! I am also in love with this song: Habanera sung by Maria Callas

                                    

Totally different time.... but still! I love a wide range of music!!!

Indeed... well, It is time for me to say "Fair well!" or, "Au revior!" 

~ Jasper

Bonjour, mes amis! (hello my friends, in french)

You know, I was thinking of learning french... But that isn't the point of this blogpost.... I am in a terrible predicament. Much like chinese torture, you know... the water dripping thing.... only with this song:

I liked it the first hundred times I heard it......

Don't you? But my mother learned it on the piano... she does a good job.. its just that she does it twelve times a day. So its stuck in my head. ALL THE TIME. Dripping in my ears like chinese torture. I'm going to go crazy someday. 

Other than the excessive song singing, I've been fine lately! I mean, this morning I hardly got bugged at all! I was fed on time (8:00 SHARP) and I even got some attention while my mom drank her morning coffee. Life is good. 

Earlier, yesterday, my mother and grandparents hint that they are probably going to some festival in Lafayette... whatever that is. AND they said they'd be gone all weekend. WHAT??? But thats okay, I will be the laziest cat on the face of the earth all weekend long. heeheehee 

What have you been up to? I've been listening (against my will) to one song, eavesdropping about festivals, eating, sleeping, and much more interesting things like basking in that delicious, scrumptious, luxurious, sun of mine...

~ Jasper

How do you fair?

Hello! How do you fair? I fair fine thank you! Just fine.

You see, this week was crazy.... everyday had something planned. Except today, of course, tomorrow we are having company. But me? I had a sudden laziness-craving. I laid in the beautiful sun, basking in it, soaking it up- while my family cleaned the house. Of course today will be the same, I will lay in the sun until my skin feels like it has shrunk, then.. I'll roll over and shrink the other side so it matches.

 The other day, was lovely, My Aunt and Uncle were dramatically Opera singing in the backyard, dancing around and making the funniest faces. I watched them intently, soaking up everything they did- if I haven't mentioned, being an "Opera Star" is my big dream for when my mother moves out and becomes an actress, It wouldn't be that hard to get a part in an Opera.

 What is your big dream for the future my readers?

~ Jasper

One of those times

You know those times when you really have nothing to say? Well... this is one of them. I could think of something.. but it would be a pointless subject of discussion. I'll try though.

.................................................................................................................................

I've thought for a good time, and have come up with nothing. Absolutely NOTHING! Grrr..

But I've hopes for tomorrow!!! :D

~ Jasper (The cat with very short writers block)

Hello, hello, hello!

As you might have noticed by the title of this blogpost.... I am having a wonderful day today (so far)!!! To my satisfaction, I have finally had a comment from someone who isn't related to me!

(Grandma and Great Grandma- I'm not saying that I don't enjoy your comments)

It's just cool, that friends are posting now!

Anyway... We have other things to discuss. So grab a coffee and take a seat!
Yesterday, my oldest uncle left. The dog had a bath, and I have a feeling my nails are going to get trimmed. What a horrid thing. Don't you know when your mother gives you that look? No? Yes? Well mothers have many looks, and I, being precisely 4 years, 6 months and three hours old, know how to differentiate between them all.

Glare= stop chewing on the knitting that your grandmother works hard on!
Raised eyebrow= you are the weirdest cat in kitty history.
Puckered lips= I'm gonna sqeeeeeeze you 'cause I love you SOOO much!
Blank look, then a smile= hi cat.
Pleading, painful expression= STOP KNEADING MY BELLY WITH YOUR SHARP NAILS!!!!!

Get ready for it... the new look is:

Expression as if you were a giraffe stuck in mud wearing striped socks, doused in orange juice and trying to learn the Viennese Waltz = I am going to trim your nails.


Its terrible. The things you have to go through to be a cat. Being a cat is hard, tiring, and terrifying.
Can't you see??

I have to bask in the sun and writher like a worm!


I have to attend fancy tea parties!


I have to attend photo shoots!



AND I have to protect the family of six people from vicious bugs- Yet, I still get tortured by their "loving" hugs and squeezes!!!





*sigh*

I'm still having a good day! Are you?


~ Jasper