"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap
toast on a cats back and drop it?"

~ Stephen Wright

Thursday, August 2, 2012

I apologize greatly for my absence...

Dearest Readers,

  I am very sorry for my laziness in the past.. what... seven weeks? I really truly am sorry. Well, I shan't call it laziness... because the maid that my family hired for me, didn't let me use the computer! How unfair is that?? Hmph.
  I will get you caught up on what I've been doing for the past... seven weeks.

1. In that time I have killed one cockroach, two moths, a lizard, and four other random bugs.

2. I have eaten not a single bug in seven weeks.

3. My family left seven weeks ago and came back yesterday night, and--it is probably just a strange
human custom or a way of saying "Please forgive us for leaving you so long" but they got me a
maid! She gives me food, she pets me, she lets me sleep on her pillow, and she even cleans my
litter box! How nice is that?! not to say that my mother doesn't do any of that. But who would do it
When she is gone?

4. Sorry to say that in that whopping seven weeks, we had not a single dance party. The maid would
not allow it. So, we just sat around all day and were a normal cat and dog. It was boring.

5. I counted the cars that went by each day and added them all up. So.. in seven weeks.. a total of
four cars passed by. My mother told me today that she thought the number was a little off.
Mothers...


  There, that just about sums up the summers' events. Oh, and the best part was yesterday. Everyone
gave me and Sid a treat. All six of my family gave me one! That adds up to.... three treats!
Mother tells me that I need to work on my math skills...  Mothers...




I will post MUCH more often now!

~Jasper

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