Puppies...

  I apologize greatly for my lack of posting. You see, there is an excuse...

Remember that puppy I mentioned a few days ago? Maggie? Well she's proofed quite naughty... let's make a list- aren't lists fun? I sure think so...

• Maggie likes to eat pumpkins. She chewed her initials into a pumpkin that was supposed to be carved for halloween, but not suitable for that anymore... It is possible she only wanted to carve it herself.....
•  Maggie often tires of her dog bed and decides that the couch is much more comfortable. In simpler words, she sleeps on the couch... princess...
• For some reason, Maggie fancies in eating my feces. Yes, from my litter box. Maybe she mistook my feces for something else. I don't know- what I do know is it is highly improper and very disgusting to feast on another's feces.
• Maggie, for reasons unknown, likes to chew on Sid's face. Really, I think she might be trying to groom him or something, but it highly unsightly.
• Maggie thinks it necessary to bring everybody's dirty and clean clothes to them. My mother had her pajama bottoms and underwear dropped in the hallway. Maybe she thinks she's being helpful.....
• She also thinks it an act of kindness to carry around my Uncle's teddy bear, and my Aunt's stuffed elephant toy. Why? I'll never know.

Are you ready for the grand finale? The worst and most naughty of them all? The mother of all faults? Today it happened... here it is:

• Maggie, this morning, decided to chase me... Well, she rounded a corner to closely and hit the corner of the wall, accidentally tearing off the trim and mildly injuring her right, front leg. Puppies.

My mother has yet to feed me breakfast, so I must leave with the excuse that I'm starving and I must beg for food. As always, I will say to you,

Tootaloo!

~Jasper

Yes. Another one.

  I've gotten over my fear of random animals living in my house. Why? Because in the past two years, a 70 pound dog (Bertha), a little black kitten (Solo) and as of a few days ago, a 30 pound puppy about 5 months old (Magnolia) have made their way into our home. Bertha and Solo found new homes but Magnolia is staying here. Permanently. I've forced myself not to be afraid of this:

Photo Credit: GypsyForest (My grandmother)

  Sure, she's cute... but It chased me down the hall! It was scary!!! I mean she is 230.769231% bigger than me!
Yes, I calculated it t the exact percentage.
  Anyway, as I was saying, I forced myself to not be afraid of Magnolia (Maggie, as everyone calls her). How do I do this? Well, whenever she sniffs me I hit her nose. We don't want her sniffing me do we? Us cats are more proper and we mind our manners- unlike those rowdy dogs that go sniffing each others behinds whenever they feel like it.
  Yesterday, when she tried to follow me down the hall, I showed her who was boss by chasing her the other way. I know it's a bit harsh... but I had to do it! I need to make it clear to her that I am the boss of this house and she shouldn't go chasing me, pouncing on me or sniffing my rear end. Go see Sid if you want to sniff someone's behind (Sid is my canine companion)! Don't expect me to like it or even tolerate it if you sniff my rear! Dogs confuse me. Here I'll tell you what confuses me.

1. Why do they sniff each others rear ends?
2. Why do they dislike it when the family leaves? Don't they like a little solitude?
3. Why do they insist upon their human companions throwing that rubber ball so they can chase after it and then bring it back to them. How do they find entertainment in that?
4. Why can't Puppies sit still? Can't they just stop moving for five minutes? Four minutes? Even two would be nice!!
5. When a human brings them a treat, why do they do all the tricks they know in a span of five seconds? Do you think being a freak will make them give you the treat? When they tell you to sit do you think that if you sit, lay down and roll over they'll give you extra treats for some reason??
6. Why do dogs bathe in public? Be polite and go in the other room for heavens sake!! Not in the middle of a conversation with guests! I mean really!?!?

Well, I've nothing more to say, and I need to chase that puppy one more time so.....

Tootaloo!!

~Jasper

Friday Photos... on Tuesday.

For some reason the blog post didn't post on friday. What's the point of a blog post if it doesn't post?? That's right! There isn't! So here is a very belated Friday Photos for you!

Friday Photos::

Me On The Bed (Photo Taken By Mother)

Me exploring the screened-in patio (Photo taken by Mother)

Look! It's my bow tie!! Isn't it lovely? Class? Perfect? Yes, I know it's amazing.
(Photo taken by mother)

Me eyeing something most dashingly (Photo taken by Mother)

Me in my bow tie *Again* (Photo taken by Mother)

Add caption

 

People can be so speciest.

Hello friends...
I was browsing the web when I found this:

Can you believe it? This is so speciest! This is not okay! This picture is insinuating that cats have no emotions, yet dogs do! That is quite rude. Whoever drew this picture obviously had not ever met a cat before. Only those hyperactive dogs. It's quite sad really, I mean could you even imagine what life would be like without a cat in your house? Could you? It would be terrible! Think of how much you benefit from having a cat! let's make a list.

1. No one would catch the bugs that come in your house... if you had no cat.
2. You couldn't be cheered up by rubbing your face in a cat's belly when your sad- if you had no cat.
3. Who would attack your feet when you walked to the bathroom at 12:00 AM? if you had no cat...
4. Who would you play with? if you had no cat...

See? Humans. Need. cats. It's simply a necessity for them to have a cat living in their house. Trust me. Humans can't live without us. We are vital to their health- because we are just so fluffy... humans need fluffy things.

Well, I have to go so...

Tootalloo!!

~Jasper

Friday Photos::

Well, It's friday- and you know what that means.... well I hope so anyway- Friday Photos!!!
My mother let me out on the screened-in patio for a little bit so she could take some pictures, it wasn't to bad... in fact, I could even say that I enjoyed it quite much.
Well here they are! I hope you like them!!

Me in the mirror

Me observing my surroundings..

Me lounging for a moment

And... Me exploring a bit.

Have a good weekend!

Tootalloo!

~Jasper

Connoisseurs Of Comfort

"Cats are connoisseurs of comfort."~ James Harriot

  Now are we? Is he saying that we never feel discomfort? If he is, he is very wrong. In a house with two uncles, an aunt, my mother, and my grandparents, I should know what discomfort is. My uncle, who is only six years of age, thinks it's fun to carry me around and throw me across his shoulder to haul me wherever he chooses- is this comfort? I should think not!

My Aunt has decided that it's hilarious to put me in a dress! Is that comfortable?? No!!! I have felt comfort before, I'm not saying I haven't....

like that time my mother gave me a little bowl full of milk... another she brushed my hair until it was silky smooth... last christmas I got treats in my stocking from santa of course.

  Why would someone think that we only feel comfort? That is so strange. I should start accusing humans as being lazy-butts. Because its me who catches all the bugs that stroll into our house. It's me that entertains the children unwillingly. What do they do? They sit on their lazy butts and they use those stupid contraptions they call computers. I would never be so entertained by a screen that sits on my lap- of course... there is that little mouse on the screen- but still! I refuse to be hypnotized by the computers hypnotizing rays. I refuse.

I apologize for the shortness of this post, but I really have to bid you farewell. So....

Tootaloo!

~Jasper

A very short post...

Hello readers,

  It's raining buckets outside.... it's terrifying.... for me anyway.
I've been oddly energetic this morning- for example, my Mother and my Aunt were busy and forgot to feed me breakfast, sooo... I tackled their feet until they gave me breakfast... then I tackled their calves.
  I was EXTREMELY bored, so I took to running down the whole hallway doing a doughnut and running down the hallway again, and again... and again. It's quite fun, really you should try it sometime!
  My Aunt was telling my Uncle about how "Ants can survive underwater for twenty four hours"- well, I'll have to test that theory on my aunt.
Well, I've nothing more to say and I swear the hallway is screaming my name "Jasper! Jasper!" so I must go run up and down it.... I guess this is good-bye for the today- or as I would say:

Tootalloo!
~Jasper